Agency In the Therapy Space

Rampant War, Inequality, Injustice, Genocide and Corruption have become a daily staple and the new normal for us in 2026. Not a day passes without the internal feeling of a lack of control and the physical sensation of helplessness and the absence of agency. In a world that is volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous everyone struggles to make sense of who they are and how they contribute to it. Although it may not always show up as a situation or manifestation of crisis, this experience would ring true to any individual who is conscientious and participates in today’s world. Be it a student, a professional, a homemaker, or a marginalized community. We live in a time where agency is constantly being taken away. Thus making us reliant on systems that are exclusive, unfair, and unreliable.

What exactly is Agency?

You would be wise to ask such a question. Agency refers to the ability and the experience of the ability of an individual to make decisions and act independently without external coercion. Now it is important to understand that we are not attempting to speak about being isolated or living “off grid” where one is not answerable to anyone. When we speak of a lack of agency we aim to shed light on the available data and the experience of varied individuals who walk into therapy rooms and report having a paucity of life skills, the ability to rely on self, be independent, believe in their own capabilities, or be able to have some clarity or direction on topics of self worth and identity, all of this coupled with  an exponential increase in systems that encourage and justify an external locus of control. Thus we are able to bear witness to the overencompassing “influence” of social media, the lack of critical thinking or reflection, the overdependence on external factors for daily survival (food, basic necessities, sanitation) and even for more intimate and private concerns such as validation, sense of self, identity, and purpose.

In such an environment, the therapeutic space and even more importantly the therapeutic relationship, remains a singular pillar that focuses and aims at returning and equipping individuals with practical skills, time, and space to explore themselves, their patterns and slowly but surely regain this agency.  

Why is it Important to regain agency? How does this affect us?

Again, absolutely pertinent and insightful questions. Let us look at this a little closer. On any given day across social media platforms one can notice the “top 1%” of individuals making fantastic claims regarding how to make money. Unequivocally we all as humans wish to reach such a position where we no longer struggle for our basic needs and are able to be a part of that “1%” simply because these individuals appear to be more in control and are able to “do things” exactly as they would like to. 

Universally within the therapeutic space we see individuals who feel uncertain regarding their future, unable to move on from losses of any kind, stuck in maladaptive patterns and struggling to stay afloat not just financially but mentally as well. If you notice, the main difference is the experience of agency.

Have you ever had the following thought?

“If I just had a little more confidence, I would be able to make it”, and then be unable to go ahead and make it?

 This is exactly what the experience of a lack of agency would look like, it is pertinent to remember that the “1%” also have these thoughts, yet are able to bypass them, often fail and still make attempts until their objective is achieved thus building resilience and ultimately agency. Now it is important to point out that this experience of agency in the current systems and environment is a direct result of privilege. However that does not translate to agency being something that is unattainable outside of such preferential systems. This is precisely the work that we do in therapy. 

Yet another aspect that plays a vital role in our understanding of Agency is its duality. Which refers to the characteristic of this experience to be both empowering and burdening/exhausting for if we attempt to track it, we come to understand that the process of regaining agency begins with the first step of awareness (regarding patterns), then building skills (such as distress tolerance, boundary setting, negotiation), then actively practicing these skills (and failing), and finally being able to maintain them. This process is not simply uncomfortable but also moves the individual into a space of being able to take responsibility and ownership of their flaws/shortcoming, seek accountability from others in a safe manner, explore unfamiliar situations with caution, express their needs and wants, and be at a position to heal from past traumas (which is yet another whole process). This duality is a reality that every individual who comes into therapy will face at one point or another and is a deep and impactful mirror into the complexity and simplicity of life.

But why is therapy the only space?

Therapy and the relationship that is held sacred within therapy focuses on addressing the above mentioned concerns by honouring the individuals experience, being curious about the emergence of patterns (both adaptive and maladaptive), highlighting strengths and assets, processing emotions and feelings, building resilience and exploring safely and patiently. All of these elements and the collaborative system enables the therapeutic process to be one that allows the regaining of agency and the path towards self discovery. 

This is not to say that “therapy is easy”. Rather it is to place on record the fact that access to and active participation in the therapeutic process can prove to be confusing, overwhelming, exhausting, and yet liberating. As therapy takes the uncertain and volatile elements of the real world and holds them with unconditional positive regard, curiosity, safety and stabilisation thus making the world more palatable, concrete, and controllable.

How can we practice regaining agency in daily life?

Yet another interesting question. Given below are a few points to keep in mind and notice in your own life to help you make more sense of the information provided here

1. Be curious - The first step is always to be able to notice and explore things without the element of judgement. It can be extremely difficult in the beginning and if often easy to miss. You can begin by being curious about how you show up for yourself, for others and the world around you. Do you notice that you are able to think freely, hold space of the complexities and allow yourself to be vulnerable? That brings us to our second point.
2. Ask questions - You always know who is in control when you figure out the consequences of asking questions. Asking questions with curiosity is a sure fire way to make sense of the level of agency you are at. This step will allow you to see the multiple perspectives at play at all times and give you a better understanding of your own ability to shape and mold your current situation.
3. Express gratitude - Often an unlooked element of life. Take the time to sit with yourself and celebrate the small wins. Notice and appreciate the effort that you put into moving forward and take account of all that has worked for you in your life. Be it the support systems, the lesions you have learnt, the resilience that you have built, or even the smallest decisions you have made. A crucial step in the journey of regaining agency is acknowledging where you are and appreciating yourself for who you are.
4. Be patient - The process of regaining agency is a marathon. In an environment designed to make people dependent, obedient and complacent one must remember that self care and time off is as important to agency as being non conformist. Take the time to be selfish and allow yourself to fail, take the time to recover learn and use the system to your benefit. A burnt out you is still a you without agency. Remember that slow is smooth and smooth is fast.
5. Listen to your body- Your body is always attempting to communicate with you. It is upon us to be willing to listen. When we engage in things that are uncomfortable, foreign, and unfamiliar, begin by checking in with your body, notice the slight changes and allow yourself to rest, recuperate and remerge when you are ready (notice yet another way to regain agency).Be wise and use your strength judiciously.

In a time where everything is built to take agency and control away from you. Join us at Another Light where we focus on placing agency, control, and mastery back in your own hands. You deserve to be the one in the driving seat and we want that for you.